Went on a Date Today

Today, oddly, I went on a date.  I know that it sounds a bit crazy to be posting this in my breakup blog, but I figured that it was time and so out I went.

Shockingly, or at least to me, the girl was actually pretty spectacular.  Granted, alarm bells were going off in my head about being fearful of rebounding, moving too soon, and a million other things, but instead of limiting myself and over-analyzing, I just decided to chat and have a nice afternoon.

I definitely felt off my game.  I mean, after dating the same girl for almost three years, I was a bit rusty and definitely very, very nervous.  I mean, how in the world do adults date strangers?  Maybe if it was someone I had known a bit, I would have been a little more chill, but the good news is she was very nice, very sweet, and truthfully, very easy to get along with.

In fact, in some ways I was a little annoyed that she was so great and that the date went so well - I'm even assuming that it was a date?  I mean, I have no idea how one even knows that - I asked her to do something and we did it - but I digress.  The reason I am so annoyed that the date went so well is because it seems like the last thing that I really needed at that point in time in some ways.  If things could have gone horribly, or she wasn't such a sweetie pie, then I probably would not care very much about the whole thing.  Instead, because it was so awesome, now I am a little more concerned about the future, both in terms of anxiety and in terms of being scared.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that I have become a teenager.  I have no idea what is going on, what to expect, how to date, how I should feel, what I should think, how I should act, or whether she even likes me in that manner.  Life would be easier if I could send her a note with three checkboxes on it - yes, no, maybe, and simply ask her if she was interested.  However, since I am unable to do that, I suppose I will just have to be patient and enjoy the ride.

The good news is she did text me afterwards and say thanks - so hopefully that was a good sign.  To be continued...